Fashionable Dictionary

The art of lexicography is a never-ending search for the most accurate definition of language and its principle component – words. The Butterflies and Wheels Fashionable Dictionary has done their part to update our woefully outdated dictionaries to be more in tune with our current post-modern, politically correct sensibilities. I've included a few samples below:

A

Acceptance
Nice, warm, cooperative way of evaluating ideas, much better than argument.

Accuracy
Exploded concept. Foolish, Platonic notion that we can get our facts straight.

Alphabet
The opposite of the Goddess. "But one pernicious effect of literacy has gone largely unnoticed: writing subliminally fosters a patriarchal outlook. Writing of any kind, but especially its alphabetic form, diminishes feminine values and with them, women's power in the culture." [Leonard Shlain, The Goddess and the Alphabet]

Alternative
A wonderful thing. Because it's the opposite of everything. You have the regular, normal, boring thing, like medicine, or scholarship, or education, and then you have the alternative kind, which does whatever the opposite is. Normal medicine relies on testing, so dear alternative medicine relies on guesswork and hunches and an inner voice. So much more spiritual.

Argument
Unpleasant, testosterone-driven method of supporting one's assertions, to be avoided in favour of acceptance.

Aristotle
A famous thief. Stole all his ideas from the library at Alexandria, built after his death, which just goes to show how sneaky he was.

Armchair
All-purpose adjective meaning: lazy, unhealthy, indoor, cowardly ("armchair general"), bookish, abstract, arbitrary, invented, and different from what I think, as in "armchair philosopher," "armchair anthropologist," etc.

Assertion
1. Essential technique, replacing the need for argument and evidence.
2. To be greeted with acceptance, rather than argument.

Assumption
Something to be examined when it is our opponent's and taken for granted when it is our own.